Masami's hair was starting to get a bit long...you know, falling into his eyes and over his ears, but the worst is the natural little "rat's tail" that he gets in the back when his hair is longer. We have cut his hair several times now. Anthony puts his clippers on their longest setting and gives him a buzz.
|Before "the incident"|
On this occasion I had said, "It's time to give Masami a hair cut. Can you give it a buzz?" I did not think further clarification was needed since we have done this before. Anthony said, "Sure. Like mine?" Thinking he meant the current length of his hair, I agreed.
So, I was cleaning-up the dinner dishes while Anthony took Masami into the bathroom to get the job done. Eventually I wandered into the bathroom to see how it was going and if Anthony needed anything. I was shocked to see that Anthony had not "buzzed" his hair, but "shaved" it. He looked like a labor-camp child or chemo patient with no hair. His gorgeous red locks were laying in the bottom of the bathtub, and I was grief-stricken.
With horror in my voice, I moaned "No!...No!...NOOOO!" After that I was speechless for a moment while I processed the sight before me. Then, "Why did you do this?!" What followed was an intense discussion over what was said and not said in our previous conversations. When Anthony said, "Like mine?" he apparently meant "like when I do my own hair and shave it off." Masami had been quite agreeable to the shave because Anthony kept psyching him up that he would "look like Dadda." And he does...
Mine and Anthony's discussion ended with me saying, "Just to be clear, when I say buzz, I do not mean shave. I will never, ever, ever, EVER, never, ever, ever, ever want you to shave his head. Not ever! Never, ever, ever..." That is about when Anthony interrupted me and said "OK! I get it" in an annoyed tone. To which I responded, "I just wanted to be clear since obviously I wasn't before." Then, choking down sobs, I fled the scene and went to finish cleaning the kitchen.
Thankfully, Alethia had been outside playing in the yard during the ordeal and did not hear it. So when she came back in from playing and saw Masami's new haircut for the first time, she innocently exclaimed "Look at you! You're a cool dude!" with a big smile on her face.
The days that followed were difficult. I would talk myself down from my anger and bitterness (it will grow back...it is really not that big a deal...he's a boy...) and then Masami's bald head would go bobbing by and a fresh wave of grief over those beautiful locks of red hair that were lost would wash over me and I would have to talk myself down all over again. I posted something about it on Facebook (with Anthony's permission, "If that is what will help you get over it.") and it did help. Luckily, Masami's hair HAS grown back quickly and is just as red and gorgeous. I can now put the whole thing behind me and am confident that next time I say "buzz" Anthony will know exactly what I mean.
|Masami today: 6 wks later|
**Note: this account may be slightly dramatized. ;)